Feeling like it's close to an end but it's really just the beginning of something else!

So since I last wrote Nathan has had another round of chemotherapy and we met with the Dr. on Tuesday of this week. He has chemotherapy again on Monday morning. The doctors are continuing the treatment until everything is set up and ready to go for him to go into the hospital for his transplant. He was approved for the transplant so we finally have some peace as far as not stressing about what we would do if he had not been. It's kind of strange how you want to feel happy about the coming remission but at the same time you dread what is ahead. Nathan has been through the transplant process once before, and it was very hard for him, but this time will be much different, and much much harder. Due to the fact that he has a donor this time instead of his own stem cells and the donor is not related to him it makes it a great deal more complicated. Nathan will be in the hospital for a lengthy amount of time and then have to stay close to the hospital until he is in the clear from his transplant. I have been reading up on GVHD, the disease he could develop from the transplant. It scares me so much to know that we have to sit and wait to see if his body can handle this and if his body can not then it could kill him. That is the reality of the situation. Hard to know what to do because if he does not do the transplant his cancer will most likely come back and the doctors say he will be out of options. This is a chance to cure him , prolong his life, save him, if it works. The last transplant was successful he had five years of remission, so I am holding on to hope and faith that this will go smoothly for him. If you are interested in Graft-vs-Host disease I could post lots of links, but easiest way is just google it there is tons of info on the disease, what causes it, as well as treatment of it, risks, and statistics of survivors. Please keep Nathan in your thoughts. He still has a long road ahead that is not going to be easy. I never realized how much of you life is affected by an illness such as cancer. It takes over EVERY aspect of it. It is hard to plan things and hard to spend time just living and being happy because you have to worry about the things going on, the things ahead, finances, being apart from people, the pain, the sickness. It puts a strain on everything and it is the hardest thing I have ever been through and I am not the one who is sick. So unfair to watch an amazing, pure, beautiful person who is so amazing and loving and full of life suffer through this war on cancer!!! On a positive note Nathan had two weeks off from treatment and it has been awesome. He has been to Aedyn's baseball practices, able to go out and eat, able to go in the living room and watch TV, eat dinner with Aedyn and I , basically everything except lay in bed. It's amazing the simple silly things we do day in and day out that we take for granted. Live your life and love every second of it because all the petty crappy things we complain about daily do not mean anything at all!!!!